The other day I was thinking about all the things I like about my job…

Feeling respected

Feeling like my needs as an employee are attended to

Having a lunch break

Working less than 12 hours

Being paid for my work

Being thanked and recognized when I do a good job

Not fearing Mondays

Not praying that closing time will come so that I can feel happy again

Feeling that my hard work is valued and worth something

Not feeling incompetent even though I’m not

Not dreading talking to my bosses or co-workers

Not feeling like an idiot when I give suggestions because everyone around me is overly competitive and it comes across as rude, judgmental and condescending

Having a human resources department

Not being afraid to to call in sick because I don’t think anyone will believe I’m actually sick (whether I am or not)

Having coworkers who aren’t so terribly self involved that they think everything is about them (including if I were to get fired, say)

Feeling productive and energized to work

Not feeling abused and misused.

Pretty sad list, right? Like shouldn’t this be the basic standard of work? I know so many people have a truly grueling work environment with just enough pay to get by (if that). After landing my current job, it has made it all the more clear that I was in an abusive relationship with my old job and employers. I was mistreated, hurt, made to feel less than my worth- it was all so too familiar. In retrospect, my last job was just as unhealthy to my mind and soul as my last relationship with my abusive exboyfriend.

I guess one perk of the abusive work place is at least I got a check. But it got me thinking about how important it is to be in an environment that feels supportive and safe. Working at my job makes me feel like working hard, hitting all my deadlines and being innovative. The other day, I was even advising a friend to leave her job based on this same thought process.

The 2 years I’ve known her, she has stated that she was miserable in her job and finds reasons to put off a job hunt. I pointed this out to her and we were talking about how we were in happy relationships and how different that feels than past ones and that the same applies to the J-O-B.

It’s amazing how many parts of life require vigilance and self-protection. I’m so grateful to be working and to be in a position to finally feel validated for my contributions no matter how minor they may seem.

After coming home from a weekend away from my love, I walked into him making dinner. A total sweetheart. He went on to tell me about the dish he was making:

Him: “Several years ago (back in ‘98) when I was interning in New York, a girl taught some of us this amazing Italian dish. I’ve tried it 3 times including tonight and I mess it up EVERY time. I’m even messing it up now. It’s so frustrating but I really want to conquer this dish. I wish I knew what it was. It was a rustic dish with thin noodles, eggs, bacon, peas. It didn’t have a red sauce. God, I just wish I knew what it was so I could recreate it.”

Me: “Cabonara?”

Him: “Fuck You. Where were you in 2000 when I messed this up, huh?”

We both laughed.

This is the epitome of our partnership. When one is stumped, confused, frustrated grasping at straws (and maybe has been for a long time) on an issue, the other comes in and figures out the solution. When one doesn’t have the energy to think anymore, the other becomes ‘in charge’. It was a hilarious if-you-heard-it-in-a-movie-you-would-say-‘yeah-right’ moment. But it is exactly us.

I’m turning 31 in just a couple of days. I don’t remember thinking much about what it would be to be ‘in my 30’s’. I was always ‘in the moment’ of my age. Except for when I had a freak out about turning 20. Yes, 20. I was scared to change decades when most of my friends were a year younger than I as I started college a little later. I don’t know what scared me but I do know it must have been a premonition!

I always say that the 20’s are the hardest yet. Get a job. Suffer at job. Work too much. Make more money than in college. Incur more debt than in college. Fall in love. Suffer for love because you haven’t sorted yourself out enough. End love. Feel afraid to fall in love again. Cut ties with the over burdening family. Slowly reconnect with intact boundaries. Pay rent. Pay insurance. Pay car note. Pay utilities. Travel a bit. Gain friends. Lose friends. Cut out the bad apple friends.

Yeesh! No one warned me of the pain. Sure, it’s GROWING pain, but it hurts nonetheless. I feel like year 29 and 30 were the years I finally applied all the learning and put them into action. It is now that I feel like my foundation as me has finally been laid properly and can support all the rest that life has to offer. This is when I met my life partner who treats me the way I should- the man that has become my family. Allistair and I muse often that had we met even a week early than we did, it might not have worked. We had both ripened to the perfect point for the maturation of our relationship.

I told my mother that I was training for my second half marathon and she said, ‘I’m glad you are keeping yourself young.’ I think that is my goal, my plan. I want to stay and feel young enough for as long as possible to really enjoy all that I’ve learned. I know that who I was at 20 was the base for who I am now but I have grown and changed so much. I used to not know how to talk to strangers- sweat, stuttering, avoiding social situations. All of it. Now, it is a rare, rare thing to feel this part of me sneak back in. I’ve changed my physical health tenfold and went from never, ever exercising to turning down social engagements to run 8 miles. It’s amazing who you can become if you let yourself really grow.

What will these next years bring? I know some of it: chiropractic college and graduating; starting a practice with my man; getting married; traveling with my husband; improving my Spanish (always); practicing yoga; running more half marathons and eventually a full marathon. But what else? What more will I learn? I look forward to the next years and the years beyond that.

My physical practices of yoga, running, and meditation have all had so much to do with who I have become. Training for my body has transformed my spirit. I look forward to continuing my path as a woman in training.

The other night, after learning that his father would be going in for a long awaited kidney transplant, Allistair said, “Honey, we handle change pretty well, don’t we?”

At this point, we like to take bets on what life has to toss our way. We know it will always be the unexpected. over the course of the last 7 months, we moved in together; spent the summer with his sister; he got laid off; i got fired; we moved cities; we became explorers of our new home town; visited oregon; had an east coast vacation; fell even deeper in love; got a new kitten for our family; job hunted; worried about money; planned for the future; got jobs; faced serious illness in our families…

We’ve faced the day to day stress of this economic downturn in a real way while remaining optimistic and adventurous. Leaning on each other is what has kept us grounded, moving forward and motivated for the future. We’ve accepted that the only thing we can count on is that nothing will stay the same and we make a damn good team.

Come on, tomorrow, give me your best shot.

The past few weeks—

- started a job. love the job, love the people, love the location

- allistair got a job. starts tomorrow! long commute, good pay, good job

-started training for a half marathon. a little behind but determined to finish.

- my neck went out a WEEK before my insurance kicks in! ugh. out of pocket expenses. thank you numerous car accidents and chronic pain. it is awesome

- started school (only 4.5 years to go till i’m done). psychology of stress. ironic part? i have to take an hour long bus ride that where we are packed as sardines the entire way. also starting a statistics class that is online. the setup alone is causing me stress to address in my psychology of stress class.

- got my first pay check in 4 months. it’s already gone but the good part is that i hear a rumor that they come every 2 weeks.

- future father-in-law underwent successful kidney transplant surgery. after 4 long years of waiting for a potential organ, we got the call and it all went through. next: a long weekend in Spokane, WA with Allistair’s fam to visit pops. keep him in your thoughts/ prayers/ etc.

- joined second life. so creepy. part of my statistics course. i already learned how to fly, change my clothes, talk to strangers and was avatar-napped. if you are a second life nerd, find me (ome memo)

Tomorrow, after 4 months of unemployment, I return to the land of the salaried. I now have an official schedule to keep and responsibilities to fulfill beyond showering, cleaning my house, caring for the cats and job hunting. I’m looking forward to the pay check and know that I am very fortunate to have found a gig relatively quickly. The economy really is as bad as the media makes it seem and there have been a few scary moments as the savings drain from the bank. But all things lead to bigger and better- even the bad situations.

I preparing to work and start a year of prerequisite classes for chiropractic college (shhhh, don’t tell my job). Allistair and I have enjoyed every single moment of spending almost every single second with each other over the last 4 months. The loss of jobs, moving cities, the stress of money issues, and just life in general could be a lot to put a wedge in a relationship. We are thankful that in our lives, we have have continued to grow closer and stronger. Communication comes east to us and we truly trust in the other in our darkest moments. The stresses of the last few months could have turned us sour but, in fact, we are sad to be forced apart by this thing called a job. I’m already looking forward to coming home after work to tell him all about it.

This is a huge year and time in my life and I guess I better get a jump on packing a lunch, ironing clothes and getting to bed. Got to ready to impress day one!

The best way to start a new year? With your beloved boyfriend, great friends, yummy appetizers and Beatles Rock Band? Why, yes, yes that is the best way to spend the eve of 2010. It was a simple night with pretty frocks, hair did and make up applied. Allistair and I had our first official party in our new apartment and fit about 15 of us in here for treats and Beatles music.

Who is that cute couple?

Tights and black dress required… apparently.

Pretty, coordinated girls and a table full of food and boozy drinks.

Several years ago, Sara and I invented the hottest dance moves in the nation- The Stapler and The Paper Weight. Let me see you staple it then drop it!

We then hopped in some cabs and headed to the other side of town to the apartment with a gorgeous view of the city! Thanks for hosting us senorita! We had a dance party, dessert and flower in the hair competition.

Allistair struggling through the land of the lisp! UMBRELLA!

The night ended when the dance party turned a bit sour with a friend doing a ‘triple Salchow’ dance/ ice skate move and landing on my foot. By then the new year’s vodka sodas kicked in and my precious man, who was dealing with a nasty cold, had to get my belligerent, injured but home via the bus (could not get a cab to save our lives). Luckily, he’s still talking to me.

Here’s to a 2010 filled with great new adventures, laughter and continued learning!

Well, life doesn’t always go as planned. Allistair and I had hoped to make it to Eastern Washington to be with his parents and sister for the holiday but the whole not having a job yet thing just kept getting in the way. Instead, we spent Christmas Eve with my bff’s family which is our surrogate family up here. It was a wonderful evening with great food. I was recovering from a sinus infection and my bff was a little under the weather as well but we all had a night of fun and talk.

On Christmas day we cooked up food and headed to see Sherlock Holmes. What did we cook, you ask? Great question. Two days before the day, I came home to Styrofoam box at our door. A note indicated that it was a gift for us from Allistair’s father. I nearly opened it without him but realized that might be rude. We excitedly opened the box and found a fully frozen smoked turkey from Hilshire Farms! What a great, great gift! Allistair’s father wanted to be sure we ‘didn’t starve’ on the holiday since we couldn’t be with them. It was thoughtful and hilarious all at the same time.

So, we set about cooking up: the turkey, cornbread and sausage stuffing made with homemade cornbread, gravy, honey-nutmeg-cinnamon mashed potatoes, yellow cake with chocolate frosting and wondered how long we would be eating this feast. After all, we were just two adults and the turkey itself was for 16-20 people! (An updated report on leftovers: We made through a good portion this past week. We only had to throw out a little bit!)

Xmas eve with friends and family

Big chins anyone?

The bff and and the bf

I’m gift enough. Don’t you think?

The easiest, tastiest turkey that I never did made!

Go stuff it!

I seem to think that I need to cook for any army. It’s a Mexican thing.

So, this was the only thing we didn’t have to toss any leftovers of!

Um, why are baby cats so wonderful and warm and cuddly? That is the question we have to ask ourselves now that we have adopted this:

We knew we would adopt another baby so Knubs would have a play mate- especially when we are both at work, etc. We found a rescue shelter that has a no-kill policy just up the street from us. It was such a great experience that included seeing cats, learning a bit about their personalities and even sitting in the rooms to play. It was heart breaking to see all the cats and doggies without homes and knowing we could only take one. We had seen a picture and read a description of our little girl on the internet. After meeting her, we knew she had to come home with us.

Her name is Omé which means two in Nahuatl. She is our second kitty.

People like to say, “Oh, I’m not a cat person.” Or, “I don’t know how you can like cats. They are so aloof.” The truth is that every cat has its own individual personality and we are so fortunate to have 2 very cuddly cats who love to be held, purr constantly and are very playful. We aren’t ‘cat people’. We just love the two we got.

Knubs cuddling with Allistair. Seriously. So cute.

Our hands before Omé.

It’s a process to get them acclimated to each other but after a few days sequestered and then slowly introducing the cats to each other, we all four are now in the same room with almost no hissing. (The cats. Not the humans. We are still hissing).

Allistair, Knubs and I took of last week for a great weekend in Corvallis, Oregon with the Cary folks. Did you know that our cat can hang with an 11 hour road trip? We didn’t either! What a good baby-cat! We enjoyed the scenic drive through northern California and Oregon and commented frequently on how beautiful and green it all was. Can you tell we were in Los Angeles too long when the color green is shocking?

We arrived at our hotel tired and hungry but mustered up the energy to visit for a while with Grandma and Dale. That was the beginning of many hours of visiting, talking, laughing and enjoying the best Thanksgiving I’ve spent ever. It is an old, old tradition that the Cary’s gather in Corvallis where it’s been held for generations- literally. Up until a few years ago, my great-grandmother would have been present. She lived into her 100’s and remained a feisty lady with a crotchet hat.

Allistair was a hit and is allowed back according to several sources. We ate and ate and ate and even had time to go to Portland for the day and also hit up some outlet malls for window shopping. We even got to take in some margarita’s near the hotel with my aunt, uncle and cousins. It was quite a night. In all, we can safely say— THANKSGIVING ‘O9! WOOOOO!

That’s grandma Joanne. Fiesty, sarcastic and a funny, kind lady. She and Allistair it off!

A SMALL sampling of the madness:

Cousins!!

Me and my Uncle Ron taking shots. Thanksgiving ‘09! Wooo!

My Aunt Theresa and my pops. We dragged the WHOOOOLLLLEEEE gang out for debauchery!

Typical family holiday. Right?

I strongly believe that it is not a real Thanksgiving without a dog pile. Duh.

Poooor Knubs! He had drank some beer and was coping with the loud, drunk, obnoxious humans.

Family portraits, muscles included.

Let’s just say, the next morning was rough, but getting there was oh so fun!

Here are a few statistics as rounded up by the cousin ringleader:

68 for the sit-down dinner at noon on Thursday. Later that day 2 more joined us, with 2 others on Friday for a total of 70 people for Thanksgiving weekend. There were 23 family members not able to make it, while 56 did.

We had 2 turkeys and 2 hams. We ran out of both at the Friday evening meal (feeding 60+ people 4 times will do that). We also filled 16 feet of table with T-day favorites and another 16 feet of desserts and snacks. It was the usual fare.

Allistair and I even got to escape for part of the day to Portland. A road trip, beautiful weather and a fun boyfriend!

Rings made of Scrabble pieces at the Sunday market.

Here are the things that Allistair learned are some of my traits due to genetics:

* Clumsiness

* The love of pickles

* Intense sarcasm

* Smart-ass responses

* Being tall

* Love and obsession with chocolate

* Playing board games

* Talking a lot

* Being social

* Saying punny things

* Talking loud

I can now, officially, say that all of the above is ‘not my fault’. What a relief!

It is so wonderful to have such a warm and loving man to share life with. And that’s what I’m thankful for this year.